Our Christmas weekend was another good example of cross-cultural living! This was partly because we wanted to keep some of our own traditions while discovering how things were done here. What also happened was that the way the church did things didn't seem to be the way we'd been told it would be done. We didn't know whether that was because a) we hadn't understood in the first place, b) plans had changed and we hadn't heard/understood why, or c) things were exactly as we had understood but looked different from the way we expected!
We didn't go to the Christmas Eve meeting as it was at 8pm (ie. 8.30 or 9pm!) and so past the boys' bedtimes. And Marc and I felt that we wanted to spend our Christmas Eve together.
Our boys opened their stocking presents on Christmas morning and then we all went to church. The Christmas morning service seemed joyful but not particularly Christmassy, which we put down to the Christmas Eve meeting being the more Christmas-themed of the meetings. We went home afterwards to our Christmas dinner of guinea fowl, opened more presents and then spent the afternoon as a family.
Sunday's service was followed by a long discussion which I understood was something to do with “the youth”, “preparation”, “Saturday or Sunday” but the details were beyond me (however I was definitely missing the context, which I only learnt on Tuesday when we had a good long chat – in Monkolé – with the pastor).
On Christmas Day the pastor told us we were invited to eat with a lot of people from church on Sunday. But he said, “Go home after the service, and we'll call you when it's ready, because the ladies can't start preparing food early because they'll be in church.” We figured this would be a midday meal but certainly not before 1pm and probably not until 3 or 4pm. We just snacked, and put the boys down for their usual nap at 2pm. But by 5pm we were starting to wonder whether we'd got it wrong. Finally at 5.30pm the pastor rang to say that … the meal still wasn't ready! But at least that reassured us that we had understood … just hadn't understood the likely timing! At 6 he rang again to tell us to come down to the village, and by 6.30-ish we were tucking into a delicious meal of pounded yams, chicken and spicy sauce.
It just brought back to us the frustration of living somewhere where you don't know the unwritten rules of social interaction! And reminded us how as Westerners we really don't like to just be hanging around waiting for someone else! Part of me also felt it was a shame we hadn't gone down to the village earlier, but we had been told to wait at home because they didn't want to keep us waiting around. So I was afraid that if we went down earlier they'd feel under pressure to get the meal served earlier.
More became clear on Tuesday during the aforementioned chat with the pastor. First of all, they hadn't celebrated Christmas with as much gusto as usual because someone linked to the church had died, and so they felt that out of respect to his family they couldn't have a party. The discussion after church had been about the youth not having done the preparation they were supposed to for the party, and others saying that it wasn't appropriate to be having a party anyway. Secondly, usually the big meal we'd been invited to would have been earlier (at 3 or 4ish) but that's because usually Boxing Day isn't a Sunday so the ladies can get cooking much earlier. So we'd kind of got it right but not made allowances for it being a Sunday!
I do feel sad to be so far from our families at Christmas, so I am very thankful that the church here is so welcoming and supportive of us! It would make it even harder if we weren't feeling at home here.
The choir at church all dressed up in their Christmas finery:
Our family (in the Christmas material chosen by the church women):
Me showing off my new outfit:
We didn't go to the Christmas Eve meeting as it was at 8pm (ie. 8.30 or 9pm!) and so past the boys' bedtimes. And Marc and I felt that we wanted to spend our Christmas Eve together.
Our boys opened their stocking presents on Christmas morning and then we all went to church. The Christmas morning service seemed joyful but not particularly Christmassy, which we put down to the Christmas Eve meeting being the more Christmas-themed of the meetings. We went home afterwards to our Christmas dinner of guinea fowl, opened more presents and then spent the afternoon as a family.
Sunday's service was followed by a long discussion which I understood was something to do with “the youth”, “preparation”, “Saturday or Sunday” but the details were beyond me (however I was definitely missing the context, which I only learnt on Tuesday when we had a good long chat – in Monkolé – with the pastor).
On Christmas Day the pastor told us we were invited to eat with a lot of people from church on Sunday. But he said, “Go home after the service, and we'll call you when it's ready, because the ladies can't start preparing food early because they'll be in church.” We figured this would be a midday meal but certainly not before 1pm and probably not until 3 or 4pm. We just snacked, and put the boys down for their usual nap at 2pm. But by 5pm we were starting to wonder whether we'd got it wrong. Finally at 5.30pm the pastor rang to say that … the meal still wasn't ready! But at least that reassured us that we had understood … just hadn't understood the likely timing! At 6 he rang again to tell us to come down to the village, and by 6.30-ish we were tucking into a delicious meal of pounded yams, chicken and spicy sauce.
It just brought back to us the frustration of living somewhere where you don't know the unwritten rules of social interaction! And reminded us how as Westerners we really don't like to just be hanging around waiting for someone else! Part of me also felt it was a shame we hadn't gone down to the village earlier, but we had been told to wait at home because they didn't want to keep us waiting around. So I was afraid that if we went down earlier they'd feel under pressure to get the meal served earlier.
More became clear on Tuesday during the aforementioned chat with the pastor. First of all, they hadn't celebrated Christmas with as much gusto as usual because someone linked to the church had died, and so they felt that out of respect to his family they couldn't have a party. The discussion after church had been about the youth not having done the preparation they were supposed to for the party, and others saying that it wasn't appropriate to be having a party anyway. Secondly, usually the big meal we'd been invited to would have been earlier (at 3 or 4ish) but that's because usually Boxing Day isn't a Sunday so the ladies can get cooking much earlier. So we'd kind of got it right but not made allowances for it being a Sunday!
I do feel sad to be so far from our families at Christmas, so I am very thankful that the church here is so welcoming and supportive of us! It would make it even harder if we weren't feeling at home here.
The choir at church all dressed up in their Christmas finery:
Our family (in the Christmas material chosen by the church women):
Me showing off my new outfit:
2 comments:
stylish lady! I do like the wings on the dress, I had similar (but black) on Christmas day and they went everywhere!
superbe tenue, vous êtes magnifiques tous habillés pareil!!!
Bonne et heureuse année à vous deux et aux petits, vous me manquez!!!
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